5 Subtle Signs Of A Narcissist

By Seth M

The narcissist is the type of person who is thought to to be in love with him or herself.  While this often leads people to believe that they are arrogant, confident, or sometimes just plain obnoxious, most narcissists are in love with a made up image of themselves that they project out into the world in place of their true selves.  This is because they are wounded individuals who feel extraordinarily inadequate.

Recognizing when you are dealing with a narcissist can be difficult, as they typically do not openly exhibit negative characteristics.  They’re not quick to brag and usually do not have a pompous air about them; on the contrary, they usually come off as pleasant, alluring and attractive.

Here are five signals that you’re involved with a narcissist:

They lack compassion – Narcissists very easily appear to be sympathetic because they are familiar with all of the right things to say; they know how to listen and then appeal to people’s emotions.  This makes them come off as honorable individuals, but after time this fades, and their sympathetic attitude toward family and friends becomes noticeably phony, as it lacks any real compassion.

Pay attention to how they treat others that occupy ‘lesser’ positions than them, for example: people who work in the service industry, like waiters and servers.  It is easily observable in how critical they are of other’s mistakes.

They twist the facts – Narcissists have no problem tweaking history just a bit so that it suits them.  Leaving out little facts or details and embellishing others just so their point comes across strongly is typical of the narcissist.  Sometimes you’ll catch them changing little details of their story around each time it gets told.

Narcissists manipulate – Narcissists hold incredible apprehension for being rejected or told “no.”  They often find ways to alter circumstances ahead of time to ensure that they will not be told “no.”  Twisting the facts is one way that they do this.

Narcissists seek compliments – Even though they appear confident and charismatic, the narcissist lacks any self-confidence.  Their low self-esteem feeds their insecurity which continuously motivates them to prove their self-worth.  This can be seen when they are fishing for compliments, even going so far as self-deprecation in hopes of someone saying something positively contradicting.

It should be noted that they also commonly praise themselves for their accomplishments and boast about achievement or status.

Narcissists like to look awesome – The narcissist is always puts off a well-put-together vibe.  They know when they look great and they take the time to look great.  They’re highly aware of their looks and the appearances of those who are close to them, meaning they care about the appearance of their children and spouses.  Mind you, not for the sake of the person, but because they are associated with the others, and it would reflect poorly of them. 

Thanks to Expanded Consciousness for this article