How To Break Your Toxic Relationship Cycle Once And For All

If you feel you are exhausted, stressed or mistreated in your relationship you might be stuck in a toxic relationship cycle. Dina Blas, an Inner Healing Life Coach, will explain in this article how to get out of an unhealthy relationship. Dina is teaching how to let go of your past and encourages you to start your healing journey.

You should start by admitting what has happened to you in the past, taking responsibility for your own actions, and making a decision to change. How can you do this? Grab a pen and paper, take 3 deep long breaths and tell yourself “I am strong, safe, and worthy of a healthy and loving relationship.” Now, you can start!

Step 1: Acknowledge your toxic cycles

Divide one piece of paper into 3 parts. In the first part write “Step 1 – My Past Toxic Cycles” and list all the negative experiences and situations you’ve had in your life. In the second part write “Step 1 – My Present Toxic Cycles” and list all the negative experiences or situations going on in your life right now. Include romantic relationships, co-workers, family, friends, situations, etc. In the last part, write “Step 1 – Similarities”. Now look at both prior lists and find the similarities between your past and your present. For instance: Did your mother yell at you when you were a child and now you are yelling at your children? Take a deep breath and think what you have found out about your life so far. Are there any patterns that repeat? Take note. What emotions were triggered? Write those down. This exercise will help you become “aware” of patterns of behaviors in your life.

Step 2: Assume responsibility

You always have to remember that the past cannot be undone, edited, forgotten or erased. It can only be accepted. Take another piece of paper and write, “Step 2 – My Responsibility” at the top. Look at ALL the romantic situations past and present from step one and list your role in each of them. What could you have done but didn’t? What did you allow but shouldn’t have? When should you have said “No”, but didn’t? There is no blame here. You are merely identifying areas that need your attention. The truth may hurt but it will help you heal. Owning and accepting your responsibility gives you an opportunity to change what you don’t like.

Step 3: Making a commitment to change

Think what behaviors would you like to change? Grab a third piece of paper and write at the top, “Step 3 – My commitment to Change”. Make a list of behaviors you’d like to change. For example: I will no longer say yes when I mean no. Make a long list as this allows you to have a focus point when you start to slip into your old habits.

Step 4: Work with a specialist

In order to truly heal your wounds, you must move “through” that which you resist the most. Sometimes, it is hard to do it alone. Find a therapist or a life coach you can work with you to go deeper and can provide a safe place to unwrap the emotions and situations you have held on to that keep you stuck in toxic relationships.

Source: abundancepedia.com