How to Cope With Emotional Vampires
“It will cost you sweat and tears, and perhaps… a little blood.”
– Nosferatu (1922)
Some vampires go for piercing necks with fangs, while others suck the joy and energy out of your life. Have you ever walked away from an interaction with someone that left you drained? There are people out there who leave us depleted, sad, angry, or a combination of these things. They can do it in person, online or on the phone, but there are some effective ways for you to prevent emotional vampires from ruining your day.
What is an emotional vampire?
An emotional vampire may come in the form of a stranger you deal with out in public, a co-worker, friend or family member. They drain you of your positivity, leave you feeling tired, aggravated and a little “off.” They feed on your strong energy and deplete you of your good vibes—sometimes entirely unaware of the effect they have on you.
An example of emotional vampirism is the narcissistic friend you have. They have trouble hearing anything you’ve accomplished and don’t ask about how you are or what you’ve been up to. They are only interested in talking about their achievements and leave no room for anyone else to chime in.
Or how about about the parent who calls or texts every day to see how you are doing only to leave you feeling frustrated after they repeat the same old complaints and let downs they’ve dealt with for years? Emotional vampires can even strike on social media, hitting you up with a barrage of messages that leave you feeling wiped out.
How to protect yourself
No string of garlic or silver bullet will help you here. It’s a good idea to sit quietly and make a list of the people with whom you interact on a regular basis. Identify those who make you happy, leave you feeling elevated, and tend to make you feel like you’re vibrating on a high frequency. Next, write down the names who leave you feeling the opposite way—like they’ve brought you down, stolen your cheeriness or robbed you of your good mood. It’s like the “naughty” and “nice” lists that Santa Claus makes.
Then what?
It’s not that you need to end relationships with every person on the “bad” list, but it’s important to be aware of how the people in your life make you feel. Perhaps limiting the time you spend around these individuals is a good place to begin. Another way to cope is by communicating clearly when you’re pressed for time, so that you don’t enable a time-stealing vampire. Setting good boundaries will help you feel safe when dealing with these folks. Stop spending so much time with people who consistently leave you running on empty.
Surround yourself with good vibes
I have friends whose emails make me so happy it’s as though they walk in the room and hug me each time I receive one of their notes. Look for the people who help you shine, genuinely care about you and raise you up. These are the people to stick with. Those vibrating on a positive frequency want you to be there too. Light attracts light and love, so keep spending time with those who radiate sincere positivity.
Let go of drama and move towards living a better, happier life with less emotional vampire interaction. They need love too, but don’t let them turn you into a drained, worn-out zombie.
What if I am an emotional vampire?
Fear not! You can change your ways, and it doesn’t require a stake in the heart. If people in your life have started shying away from you, check your behavior. Yoga, meditation and increasing cardio activity help to flush out stagnant energy.
Think about how you can be a better listener and focus on performing more random acts of kindness for those around you. Genuine care and interest in the lives of our friends, colleagues and loved ones will always be reciprocated. Shine your light brightly, and stop draining other people’s energy.
Sources:
httpss://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201101/whos-the-emotional-vampire-in-your-life
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/10/27/5-emotional-vampires-and-how-to-combat-them/
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-orloff-md/conscious-relationships_b_4176204.html
Post a Comment